Pleasure in Perimenopause: 3 Ways to Reclaim Yourself in Midlife
- Feb 10
- 3 min read
For many women, perimenopause doesn’t arrive quietly.
It shows up as anxiety that won’t settle.
Chest tightness you can’t explain.
Burnout that rest alone doesn’t fix.
A body that feels like it’s sounding an alarm you can’t ignore.
For me, that alarm went off in a parking lot in the spring of 2022—sitting in my minivan, white coat on, heading into a packed clinic day, convinced I might be having a heart attack.
What I know now is this:
My body wasn’t failing me.
It was trying to protect me.
And what ultimately helped me heal wasn’t productivity, achievement, or pushing harder.
It was pleasure.
Perimenopause, Anxiety, and the Body’s Alarm System
During perimenopause, fluctuating estrogen affects:
The nervous system
Stress tolerance
Emotional regulation
Dopamine and reward pathways
Many women experience signal anxiety—physical sensations like chest pressure, shortness of breath, or panic that feel sudden and frightening.
The problem isn’t weakness.
The problem is disconnection.
When the body doesn’t feel safe, it looks for relief wherever it can find it. For some women, that’s a glass of wine. For others, it’s numbing, scrolling, or pushing through.
But there’s another way—one that restores safety from the inside out.
✨ Top 3 Takeaways: Reclaiming Pleasure in Perimenopause
1. Pleasure is not indulgence—it’s regulation
Your brain does not know the difference between “earned” pleasure and intentional pleasure.
Dopamine is dopamine.
Whether it comes from:
A promotion
A compliment
A latte you actually sit and enjoy
Slowing down enough to feel good
Pleasure activates the brain’s reward center and helps calm a nervous system stuck in survival mode.
In perimenopause, pleasure isn’t extra.
It’s medicine.
2. Start small—your nervous system needs proof it’s safe
If pleasure feels uncomfortable or “selfish,” that’s not a flaw—it’s conditioning.
Start with micro-acts:
Add the avocado
Order the latte
Sit down to drink it instead of rushing
Eat lunch on a plate, with a fork, without multitasking
These tiny moments teach your body:
I am allowed to slow down. The world doesn’t fall apart.
That’s how trust is rebuilt.
3. Pleasure through the senses restores what burnout drains
We experience the world through our senses—and we can experience pleasure through them too.
Think:
Taste: a favorite tea or nourishing meal
Touch: cashmere socks, a soft blanket
Smell: candles, essential oils
Sound: music that grounds you
Sight: flowers, light, beauty
These sensory “anchors” steady us when life pulls in every direction.
Pleasure doesn’t have to be grand.
It has to be felt.
What I See in Midlife Women
I see women who have spent decades in service:
To work
To family
To expectations
And when they finally stop and ask, “What do I enjoy?”
They’re embarrassed they don’t know.
That moment isn’t failure.
It’s an invitation.
Midlife asks us to stop outsourcing our joy and reclaim it for ourselves.
One Gentle Experiment to Try This Week
Block one hour this week—just one.
Put it on your calendar
Treat it as non-negotiable
No productivity. No achievement. Just presence.
Notice what comes up.
That’s where the work—and the healing—begins.
Pleasure & Perimenopause: FAQ
Why does pleasure matter in perimenopause?
Hormonal shifts increase stress sensitivity. Pleasure helps regulate dopamine and calm the nervous system.
Is pleasure the same as self-care?
Pleasure is experiential. It’s about how something feels, not how responsible it looks.
Why does pleasure feel uncomfortable for so many women?
Many women are socialized to prioritize service over self-connection, making pleasure feel “undeserved.”
Can pleasure really help with anxiety and burnout?
Yes. Pleasure supports nervous system regulation, which is essential in perimenopause.
A Final Word
Pleasure will not derail your life.
It will anchor it.
When you intentionally bring pleasure back—slowly, gently, consistently—you become more resilient, more grounded, and more yourself.
At Revival Women’s Health, this is part of how we support women in perimenopause and midlife: restoring safety, agency, and joy—without shame.
You don’t need permission.
You need presence.
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